179 "Verbowel Abuse"
January 24, 2014

From those that I can think of, I'd say that I'm generally not too bad at falling-block puzzle games. I'm pretty good at Tetris, I'm fond of Yoshi's Cookie, and Wetrix is no big challenge to me. Yet Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine has always been one that eluded me. In my experience with it, I've never been able to grasp the level of quick-paced organizational management and foresight to set up the elaborate combos that are necessary to unleash devastation upon your opponent.

In retrospect, I don't think I've ever really invested much (if any) time in a single-player campaign, and I've only played against people with far more experience, which is probably the main reason I feel so inadequate at it. But if I can't outmatch the gooey brain of a human--plagued with emotion and irrationality--what chance do I have against a cold, unfeeling machine that was literally programmed to play this game?

None. The answer is none.